DON'T, when an invited guest, be late to dinner. This is a wrong to your host, to other guests, and to the dinner.
DON'T be late at the domestic table, as this is a wrong to your family, and is not calculated to promote harmony and good feeling.
DON'T seat yourself until the ladies are seated, or, at a dinner-party, until your host or hostess gives the signal. DON'T introduce, if you introduce at all, after the company is seated.
DON'T sit a foot off from the table, or jammed up against it.
DON'T tuck your napkin under your chin, or spread it upon your breast. Bibs and tuckers are for the nursery.
DON'T serve gentlemen guests at your table before all the ladies are served, including those who are members of your own household.
DON'T eat soup from the end of the spoon, but from the side. DON'T gurgle, or draw in your breath, or make other noises when eating soup. DON'T ask for a second service of soup.
DON'T bend over your plate, or drop your head to get each mouthful. Keep an upright attitude as nearly as you can without being stiff.
DON'T bite your bread. Break it off. don't break your bread into your soup.
DON'T eat with your knife. Never put your knife into your mouth. (Is this advice unnecessary? Go into any restaurant and observe.) DON'T load up the fork with food with your knife, and then cart it, as it were, to your mouth. Take up on the fork what it can easily carry, and no more.
DON'T handle fork or knife awkwardly. Let the handles of both knife and fork rest in the palm of the hand. How to handle knife and fork well can be acquired only by observation and practice. DON'T stab with the fork or handle it as if it were a dagger. Always carry food to the mouth with an inward curve of the fork or spoon.
DON'T eat fast, or gorge. Take always plenty of time. Haste is vulgar.
DON'T fill your mouth with too much food, and don't masticate audibly. Eat gently and quietly and easily.
DON'T put your knife into the butter, into the salt-cellar, or into any dish.
DON'T spread out your elbows when you are cutting your meat. Keep your elbows close to your side.
DON'T, when you drink, elevate your glass as if you were going to stand it inverted on your nose, as some do. Bring the glass perpendicularly to the lips, and then lift it to a slight angle. Do this easily.
DON'T eat anything with a spoon that can be eaten with a fork.
DON'T devour the last mouthful of soup, the-last fragment of bread, the last morsel of food. It is not expected that your plate should be sent away cleansed by your gastronomic exertions.
DON'T yourself pass up your plate for a second supply; but let the servant do so. It is better not to ask for a second helping.
DON'T reject bits of bone, or other substances by spitting them back into the plate. Quietly eject them upon your fork, holding it to your lips, and then place them on the plate. Fruit-stones should be removed by being passed unobtrusively from the lips to the spoon.
DON'T stretch across another's plate in order to reach anything.
DON'T apply to your neighbour to pass articles when the servant is at hand.
DON'T finger articles; DON'T play with your napkin, or your glass, or your fork, or with anything.
DON'T mop your face or beard with your napkin. Draw it across your lips neatly.
DON'T turn your back to one person for the purpose of talking to another; DON'T talk across the one seated next to you.
DON'T forget that the lady sitting at your side has the first claim upon your attention. A lady at your side should not be neglected, whether you have been introduced to her or not.
DON'T talk when your mouth is full - never, in fact, have your mouth full. It is more healthful and in better taste to eat by small morsels.
DON'T be embarrassed. Endeavour to be self-possessed and at ease; to accomplish which, try and not be self-conscious. Remember that self-respect is as much a virtue as respect for others.
DON'T drop your knife or fork; but, if you do, DON'T be disconcerted. Quietly ask the servant for another, and give the incident no further heed. DON'T be disquieted at accidents or blunders of any kind, but let all mishaps pass off without comment, and with philosophical indifference.
DON'T throw yourself loungingly back in your chair. The Romans lounged at table, but modern civilization does not permit it.
DON'T rest your elbows on the table; DON'T lean on the table.
DON'T use a toothpick at table, unless it is necessary; in that case, cover your mouth with one hand while you remove the obstruction that troubles you.
DON'T eat onions or garlic, unless you are dining alone, and intend to remain alone some hours thereafter. One should not wish to carry with him unpleasant evidences of what he has been eating or drinking. If a glass of milk be drunk after eating onions it will often effectually abolish the smell.
DON'T press food upon a guest. This once was thought necessary, and it was also considered polite for a guest to continue accepting, or to signify by a particular sign that he had enough. To worry a guest with ceaseless importunities is now considered in the worst possible taste.
DON'T, as guest, fold your napkin when you have finished. Place the napkin loosely on the table.
DON'T fail, at dinner, to rise when the ladies leave the table. Remain standing until they have left the room, and then reseat yourself, if you intend to remain for cigars.
DON'T, in declining at dinner to be helped to any particular dish, give as a reason that you are "afraid of it," or that "it will disagree with you." It is sufficient simply to refuse, and then no one has a right to ask why.
DON'T make even the slightest allusion to dyspepsia, indigestion, or similar complaints. Eating and enjoying your dinner is a pleasant public amusement. Digesting it is a matter for purely private consideration, not for talk with your friends.
DON'T make remarks, under the guise of friendly caution, about what is eaten by persons near you, such as its being indigestible, too hot, etc. The person you address is most probably far better able to judge for himself in such matters, and would certainly prefer that you should mind your own business.
DON'T take wine with a person with whom you are unacquainted. Charles Lamb liked wine, and took the opportunity of making a little satirical joke, when he said, in reply to such an invitation, "With pleasure; I would take wine with anybody."
DON'T, when conducting a lady to dinner, offer the left arm; a gentleman should always offer his right arm to a lady, and place her at his right hand. On staircases, a change is sometimes necessary, as the lady should always be next the wall.
DON'T make a pronounced attempt at correctness of manner; DON'T be vulgar, but DON'T, on the other hand, show that you are trying hard not to be vulgar. It is better to make mistakes than to be obviously struggling not to make them.
DON'T drink too much wine.
DON'T thank host or hostess for your dinner. Express pleasure in the entertainment, when you depart - that is all.
DON'T come to breakfast in deshabille. A lady's morning toilet should be simple, but fresh and tasteful, and her hair not in curl-papers. A gentleman should wear his morning-suit, and never his dressing-gown.
DON'T as hostess follow a bad fashion and omit napkins at breakfast. The hardihood with which some persons attack coffee and eggs without a napkin may excite our wonder, but how can the practice be defended?
DON'T, when host or hostess, finish your helping first. Make it last as long as your guests remain eating.
DON'T masticate your food with your mouth open.
DON'T, when hostess, help yourself to a second cup of tea or coffee until all your guests have had a second supply.
DON'T sing or whistle during meal-time.
DON'T drink from your saucer. While you must avoid this vulgarity, DON'T take notice of it, or of any mistake of the kind, when committed by others.
DON'T carry your spoon in your tea or coffee cup; this habit is the cause frequently of one upsetting the cup. Let the spoon lie in the saucer.
DON'T smear a slice of bread with butter; break it into small pieces, and then butter.
DON'T break an egg into a cup or glass, but eat it always from the shell. It is well not to crack the top of an egg. Crack a rim round the egg in such a way that you can remove the top as if it were a lid.
DON'T read newspaper or book or letters at table, if others are seated with you.
DON'T decorate your shirt-front with egg or coffee drippings, and DON'T ornament your coat-lapels with grease-spots. A little care will prevent these accidents.
DON'T rise from the table until the meal is finished.
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